DaveFen

DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON?

Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it’s weighing on your mind.

Here’s the answer. EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love with your spouse wasn’t hard. In fact,  it was a  completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn’t have to DO anything. That’s why it’s called "falling" in love…

Because it’s happening TO YOU.

People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet." Think about the imagery of that expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.

Falling in love is easy. It’s a passive and spontaneous experience.

But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It’s the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse’s idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a  much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, "Did I marry the right person?" And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious.  But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it.

I’m not saying that you couldn’t fall in love with someone else. You could.

And TEMPORARILY you’d feel better. But you’d be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):

THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT’S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND. 

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience.  It’ll NEVER just happen to you. You can’t "find" LASTING love. You have to “make" it day in and day out. That’s why we have the expression "the labor of love."

Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.

Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain   habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It’s a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable…you can "make" love.

Love in marriage is indeed a “decision"… Not just a feeling.

Any response for my blog that I just share? welcome welcome…

I am in the term of adjusting, positioning and sometime questioning my self, why I study again and destroy my routine schedule. I am struggling with the time management, I wish 24 hrs is longer than the existing one.

List to be done:

1. Assignment

2. Assignment

3. Assignment

4. Laundry

5. Clean the house

6. ironing

7. walk my dog

Wondering where my hubby going? yeah..where is he? ohh he actually have a new role to be my cheerleader Its not an easy job,the client that he suppose o entertain has a lil bit brain damage already haha..

Oh and then now I more dedicated my time to write my class FrOG (Free online Group) becos there got point one heheheh..no lah becos I need to vomit out all my "question" in order to challage my ability to make other ppl response what I expect them to response  but of cos I need the unexpected response. Expected one make me bored lar… eh why I started talking like malaysian… oops sorry pren… I have a brain problem again…

talk to u soon again

I am back, after few days off from our Phuket trip. It was great and relaxing before we start again the busy schedule.

Yes we went to phuket, but I would like to write my blog about phi phi island first.

Me and my hubby love to go vacation in the island. we both love beach, sunbathing and snorkling. And Phi phi don is one of the best place to be.

Its small island about 1.5 hrs by normal cruise from Phuket. Along the way we can see the main island called phi phi don rest with many small island  including Bida Nok, Bida Noi, and Bamboo Island, are not much more than large limestone rocks jutting out of the sea in the Indian ocean.

The trip is pretty rough with unforgiven wave because of the moonsoon season. It was raining a lil bit though, make the ship a bit bumpy and scary.

Before we landed to the mainland, we went to snorkling in Maya Bay, we can see lotsa of "bulu babi", colorful fish and coral. But the coral was a bit damaged because of the previous Tsunami.

Talking about Tsunami, either Phuket or Phi Phi, they are 100% recovered. And it was amazing how fast they recovered as the disaster never happend before.

After snorkling we land to Phi Phi Don, and we have sea food lunch, then sightseeing in the Island about 2 hrs.

We love hanging around in the beach and shopping in the small stalls. But too bad we didnt go to the viking cave where the swalow bird come from Siberia every year to make their nest and produce the very expensive bird nest. And we also miss for shark watching too.

Btw, one day trip to Phi Phi is a bit limited to explore the whole island and the activity. We plan for next trip we will stay there for few days for diving.

Now I can imagine how leonardo De Caprio in "The beach" movie called the place heaven on earth.. It is indeed. When I watched the movie I never imagine I will visit that place, I am glad I have the chance to visit. It was a great memory captured in my mind

To be continue for another story of our Phuket trip…