Chapter 3
On the way back to KL from penang, in the boring highway around Ipoh. Nothing interesting, only straight road and trees… almost 10.15PM, tired but well awake because of over portion of the very famous penang coffee in town, that cause us has to queue for nearly 45 min for that cup of coffee.
It started with the little conversation from one of my car mate. She told us she got the job from T college as a lecturer. It was a good news, she is young (25 yrs), smart and have a very pleasant personality, I am happy for her.
But it give me a very sad thought.
If I were malaysian…I should get the job too there..as they reject me becos of my visa arrangmenent…
and my further frustration lead to my past….
I got the job in S college, they confirm I can start on april, but then… problem… my degree not recognize by LAN and my master is still on the way to finish…. stuck!
Back to the past time of me…
I always studied in Govt school and a scholarship student. and when finished high school I have offered to pursue my study in Univ. Indonesia, english literature. Its such an honor that I can go in to that Uni without any long test like others.
But then my mom said… Jakarta is to far, Govt Uni is tough for chinese (at that time is a lot of unfair issue between chinese and local student), Accounting is a good major to take that lead u to have a succesful job.
Mother will always want the children to have the best, and am being a 17 years old naive teenager..want to feel how to study in the private school, with diffrent lifestyle and environment.
There was I in the private uni …. that I will never expect it caused me a trouble to look a job that I dream for now…
frustration feeling…
I wish I studied in Universiti Indonesia.. so it wont have a problem with LAN now…
regret? who to be blame? my mom?
I cant blame my mom, it is a guilty feeling when I want to blame her, she is such a wonderful mother. indeed a have a great job till before I left Indo to get married.
When I got married with my hubby, at that time I willing to sacrifice everything, even looking forward to be a good housewife (that I think I am)…
but after sometime I did not enjoy anymore spending my time sitting down alone at home.
I have an expectation beyond that..
He apologize to take my life in Indo with marrying me…
I cant blame him for that as he is a wonderful hubby and I would regret if I were not marrying him…
So who to be blame when I cant get a good job because am not local?
The authority, the rule? can I?
But afterall, If I given a chance I still dont want to be somebody else. I even cant imagine how my life if I be somebody else…
till now.. my family, my hubby, my friends, my study… keeps me grows up to be what I am today…
And something, someone, some situation that make me feel bad, it is not bad afterall… Because I know it make me to be a better person as I was…
My friend from far far away send me this note:
The traditional view of education bringing career success is obviously not sufficient for women who also choose to maintain their female roles as mother and wife. Women need education that:
[1] sharpens their existing maternal instincts
[2] equips them with strategic and tactical knowledge
[3] acknowledges their natural Machiavellic (achillies mom) tendencies
[4] limits their inevitable Diotimic sacrifices
[5] teaches them how to teach others the skills 1-4 above
[6] is recognized by others as a "valid" education.
So to be proud become a woman, and extra proud to be a mother and wife…:)
